Puberty, we have liftoff. Or at least the rocket’s being built.

Something like that. A has informed me that some…uh…changes are afoot. Changes of the hair in weird places kind. Ahem. He is excited. I am probably going to vomit.

Nobody Everybody told me he’d grow up, but DAMN. Can’t I put him in super slo-mo or something? I need time to absorb the fact that puberty is around the corner.  Thank god I still have J, the 6-yr old Fart King.  He’ll be a little boy for at least a few more years.  Sigh.

The funniest part of this occurrence (at least to me) is that I clearly remember a conversation about pubic hair with A, when he was about 3 years old:

(as D exited the shower one morning…)
A: Mommy, why does Daddy have hair on his pen!s?
Me: Because, Oz, that’s what happens when you get older. You grow hair in a few places.
A: (horrified, screaming) AGGHHHHHH! I NEVER want to get big! NEVER. And I NEVER EVER want to get hair there!!!!!!!
Me: Um, ok….it’ll be a long time from now, honey, just don’t worry.
A: AGHHHHHHH!
D: *chuckle*

So. The time has arrived. Anyone got a spare Valium?

Don’t let the door hit you in the proverbial ass, m’kay?

January, you can suck it. For no other reason that you are pissing me off. No, you haven’t done anything I can really put my finger on, but you piss me off nonetheless.

Tomorrow is the 27th, and the end of this drag-ass month cannot come fast enough. On to February, month of bullshit Looooove holiday and more wintry goodness. BAH.

I am still stuck in my avoidance rut. I am annoyed by myself, and yet? Here I am.

Work has slowed nicely (typical January, and about the only good thing it’s got going on), and I should be fully up to date. But noooooo. I have to pull the Procrastination Card, and fuck myself into a corner. Someone slap me already.

Tomorrow is Tuesday. One day closer to Friday. Tomorrow will be my day of productivity. And then I might have a nap. Or keep it rolling right on into Hump Day.

woo.

Meme-ology

MOUTHOLOGY
1. What is your salad dressing of choice? Balsamic vinaigrette
2. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Keg
3. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? 20%
4. What food could you eat every day and not get sick of it? Sushi
5. What are your pizza toppings of choice? Feta, tomatoes, green peppers
6. What do you like to put on your toast? Margarine & pb

TECHNOLOGY
1. Number of contacts in your cell phone? 179
2. Number of contacts in your email address book? dunno. over 100
3. What is your wallpaper on your computer? Mt. Fuji
4. How many televisions are in your house? 3
5. Do you use a laptop or desktop? Both

BIOLOGY
1. Are you right-handed or left-handed? Right
2. Do you like your smile? Sure
3. Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Children, teeth
4. Which of your five senses do you think is keenest? Hearing
5. When was the last time you had a cavity? 2007
6. What is the heaviest item you lifted last? New entertainment centre
7. Have you ever been knocked unconscious? No

BULLCRAPOLOGY
1. If you could, would you wanna know the day you were going to die? Maybe
2. If you could change your first name, what would you change it to? No idea.
3. What color do you think looks best on you? Red
4. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? Probably
5. Have you ever saved someone’s life? Yes.
6. Has someone ever saved yours? Possibly.

DAREOLOGY
1. Would you walk naked down a public street for $100,000? Yes
2. Would you cut off one of your little fingers for $200,000? No
3. Would you never blog again for $50,000? Yes
4. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000? Maybe
5. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? Doubtful
6. Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000? Yup

DUMBOLOGY
1. What is in your left pocket? No pockets here
2. Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie? No clue.
3. Do you sit or stand in the shower? Stand
4. Could you live with roommates? If you count kids & animals, I still have roommates.
5. How many pairs of flip flops do you own? 6 or 8
6. Last time you had a run-in with the cops? If we’re calling a “run-in” being pulled over….Sept 2008
7. What do you want to be when you grow up? Me.

LASTOLOGY
1. Last person you talked to on the phone? Mom
2. Person you hugged? Jack

FAVORITOLOGY
1. Number? 4
2. Color? Red
3. Season? Fall

CURRENTOLOGY
1. Missing someone? Yes.
2. Mood? Restless/bitchy
3. Listening to? The cats act like idiots.
4. Watching? See #3
5. Worrying about? Work, money…the usual

RANDOMOLOGY
1. First place you went this morning? To the bathroom
2. What can you not wait to do? Go on summer vacation.
3. What’s the last movie you saw? The Da Vinci Code
4. Do you smile often? Yes
5. Are you a friendly person? Mostly
6. Now that the survey’s done what are you going to do? Blog it & go to bed.

At work, I call it Desk Avoidance.

Here at home….I don’t know what it is. I find myself wanting to cocoon at home. Read books, watch TV, avoid the cold, hang with my kids….generally avoid life. I’m very aware of the fact that it was this time last year when the happy pills and I first made our acquaintance. I went off them in the fall, and it’s been good since then.

But I do wonder. Am I looking over the edge of that same (small) cliff again? Am I feeling overwhelmed? I don’t want to go back on the pills, and I can’t explain why. I didn’t have issues with them, I’m not embarrassed that I took them. I just don’t think I need them. I did a year ago. I don’t now. I just have to get out of my “OMG, it’s the January/post Xmas letdown season” funk.

Work’s going well, mostly. There are a few undercurrents swirling amongst my team, and I’ve done some stealth-management to try and get them calmed down. Maybe it’ll work, maybe not. Either way, I’m sticking to my “you have a problem with someone, YOU need to tell them” philosophy.

J is sick with yet another goddamn cold. I swear, the poor kid has had a month total of healthiness since September. A is ok, but driving me crazy with the general forgetfulness about school work. We’re trying to work on that together.

I have answered my own questions from above, btw. I don’t feel I’m looking at that same (small) cliff as a year ago, and I don’t feel overwhelmed. Sure, there are still a lot of things to do each day, and I’d much rather be at home, ploughing through my rather ridiculous To Read list. But overall, I’m okay. I should be enjoying this time of the year….it’s a rare form of quiet in my life.

Slow on the uptake.

I realized tonight that it’s taken me the better part of 10 years to really get a handle on ALL my email. I mean the home email, the other home* email, and the work email. Lordy, I’m slow. The home one is easy: folders. If it’s really important, I kept it, and I can find it. Eventually. The other home email is even easier: delete! Reply to (rare) blog comments. Report spam!

The work email is the tough one. If there’s white space at the bottom of my screen, I’m doing well. Today was not a white space day. I hate when I have to scroll down for my emails….makes me think I’ll miss something. Luckily, our system enables me to attach all emails directly into client files – both received and sent. My sent items file is looking pretty clean these days….now to work on the inbox.

*I call it the other email because it’s the one that I use to sign up for stuff…..so I know the spam will show up there, and I don’t care. I don’t give my real home email out to many people, and I’m sure that’s the norm for many people these days. Especially when you don’t know if someone will turn into the dreaded Joke/Warning/Idiocy Forwarder(tm). Seriously, people, check SNOPES. It will save you looking like an ass.

Interesting invitation….

My husband spends a lot of time online. No, really, take what the average 30-something male spends and multiply it by a few dozen. You might be close to the time he spends online.

Granted, he’s been living alone for several months now, and he’s into playing poker. He’s got a group of “friends in the computer” that help to keep him sane. For this, I am grateful.

Tonight, he asked me to join one of his poker forums and to chat with his friends. At the same time, he & I are on Yahoo chat (using the call feature)….it’s almost like we’re in the same room. We’re doing SOMETHING together! 200+ kms apart, but together!!

Have I mentioned how much I miss him? Sigh.