Such a geek.

I can share my news now! As of today, my husband is officially living in the same house as me & the kids!!!!! Long story short – his old boss finally retired, and he’s moving home to take over the store.

This was The Plan all along. It just required a huge (scary, nerve-wracking) leap of faith, and 21 months of long-distance marriage.

The best part? I can’t get Ozzy Osbourne’s “Mamma, I’m Coming Home” song out of my damn head.

The worst part? I’m not even home this weekend to welcome him with open arms (etc….he he). Nope, I’m in Vancouver until Sunday. Mind you, I’m kid-less, so perhaps it’s not the worst part.

This weekend can suck it. Bring on Tuesday.

Long weekends are supposed to be FUN. No work for 3 days, time with the family, blah blah.

I am done with this one. Seriously done. I would like to ask that the suckitude ends now.

Heard some worrying news about a family member tonight. Need more info before I can determine the FreakOut Level required.

Driving home from the Hannah Whatserface movie*, I almost hit a deer. Well, two. One made it across, but I slowed right down because the Rule of Deer is this: If there is ONE, there will be at LEAST two more. Deer #1 is just a tester in the Road-Crossing Crapshoot.

THEN, not 2 minutes later, I had to slow down for vehicles parked on the road…..someone had hit a deer. The deer was badly injured….but not dead. So the dude was in the ditch, trying valiantly to put it out of its misery. I am now left with the horrifying image of the injured (and confused, I’m sure) deer trying to get up…..

GAH.

I realize it could be worse. There is always a worse. I am just tired of seeing, hearing, and learning about sad/bad/awful things. At least for this weekend.

*I am 99% positive I am the only mother who took her son to see that Miley/Hannah movie. And? I am 100% ok with that. It’s kind of funny….and a great story for his wedding. Muahahaha.

Loss.

I don’t know how to make this post make sense. Nothing makes sense when children die before their parents.

A friend/business acquaintance lost her son yesterday. He would have graduated from high school in two weeks. Every time I think of the pain she must be in, I start to cry.

Another woman I know has a young son who is dying of terminal cancer. I can barely think of her pain….her son is the same age as J.

I am not close to either of these women, I don’t know the children personally. And yet? I am a mother. My heart breaks for them. I cannot help but think “that could be me….my son….my family.”

I feel I spend a lot of time bitching about my children. They are two of the most amazing, wonderful, smart, frustrating and annoying people I have had the luck to meet. I’m not a mushy person, but I adore my kids. I cannot imagine my world without them.

Tonight, my older son is at a friend’s. He called to say goodnight. The younger is fast asleep in my bed, and I plan to enjoy his little-boyness while I still can. Too soon, the oldest will be off doing his own thing, and may forget to call his mom. Too soon, the youngest will decide he’s outgrown the safe haven that is my bed.

I need to enjoy these days.

Pause.

I am overwhelmed right now. So many things to do, emails to answer, phone calls to make, emails to send, people to organize, clients to make happy, phone calls to answer, meetings to attend, children to feed, paperwork to catch up on….

That sound? Is my brain going pfzzzzzttt.

There are good things (really GOOD things) on the imminent horizon, but I cannot elaborate. It’s one of those OMG, I can’t talk about it because what if it doesn’t happen and then I’m totally to blame because yeah, I have that kind of power over the Universe in general, and don’t want to be blamed when I jinx it somehow, OMG, I have to tell someone. Anyone. NOW. And so I did. Just enough to take the edge off. More later.