What have I done?

Tomorrow morning, I will board a school bus with my son’s class. That bus will head 2 hours north to a Forestry Camp, where I will be expected to a) chaperone a cabin full of girls, b) be a team leader in all sorts of outdoorsy activities, and c) survive this without the aid of my little friend called Vodka.

Wish me luck.

Of course I did.

Steal the meme, that is….thanks to someone who is now anonymous…it’s VERY difficult not to refer to her by her last blog name. Urgh.

1. Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet? Yes. His name may or may not be Lou. His mother can go too.

2. How do you flush the toilet in public? The usual way…with the handle. Unless it’s one of those damn auto-flush things.

3. Do you wear your seat belt in the car? Always. I feel nekkid without it.

4. Do you have a crush on someone? Nope.

5. Name one thing you worry about running out of. Money. Toilet paper. That’s two, but really, they’re equally important Chez Refinnej.

6. What famous person do you (or other people) think you resemble? No damn clue. I think some idiot said I looked like Winona Ryder, but really? Not so much.

7. What is your favourite pizza topping? Feta cheese.

8. Do you crack your knuckles? No.

9. What song do you hate the most? This stupid little thing Jack keeps singing. It doesn’t even have a name, other than That Song that I HATE.

10. Did just mentioning that song make it get stuck in your head? No. I am suffering from a serious CRAFT moment – can’t recall the song, just know I HATE it.

11. What are your super powers? Accents. I understand them, I can replicate them. It’s kind of fun.

12. Peppermint or spearmint? Neither. Mint makes me sneeze.

13. Where are your car keys? In my purse.

14. Last song you listened to? Cha Ching, by Hedley.

15. What’s your most annoying habit? picking at my cuticles. It grosses me out, and yet I can’t stop.

16. Where did you last go on vacation? Ontariario. Yes, it’s a vacation – I didn’t have to scoop cat shit once.

17. What is your best physical feature? My eyes. I’m sure my husband would have a different answer, but this isn’t an x-rated meme, now, is it.

18. What CD is closest to you right now? Uh…there’s a whole damn rack above my head, but the closest if probably the Killers (Hot Fuss).

19. What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator? Milk. Cheese. Condiments.

20. What superstition do you believe/practice? I have this thing where I have to tell my family to “drive safe” when they’re going on a longer drive.

21. What colour are your bed sheets? Cafe au lait.

22. Would you rather be a fish or a bird? Bird.

23. Last thing you broke? My younger son’s heart, just a little. I’m leaving on a 3-day trip with his brother, and he’s very sad.

24. What are you having to eat tonight? I had chicken souvlaki at a restaurant that usually manages to piss me off….they didn’t tonight!

25. What colour shirt are you wearing? Blue.

26. If you could be doing anything else today, what would you rather be doing? Sleeping.

27. Do security cameras make you nervous? Sort of.

28. If you wrote a book about your life, what would the title be? Er…see the title of my blog. That’d be it.

29. Last time you went to a cemetery? Dunno. A few years.

30. Last concert you went to? I have no idea. I’m old.

31. Favourite musician(s)/bands you’ve seen in concert? Lenny Kravitz, AC/DC

32. Next concert you’re planning to attend? Uh….

33. Do you talk to yourself? All the damn time.

34. Have you ever adopted or purchased a pet? No, although I have 2 dogs and 5 cats. Between the free to a good home dog and multiple fosters that just never seemed to leave, we have never paid for an animal. The other side to fostering comes to light….

35. Have you ever been present when an animal is being born? No.

It’s good to have dreams.

In a perfect world, I would have several clones of myself.  They’d do all the hard stuff, leaving Original Jen (OJ) to lounge about, reading and eating bon bons.

Clone #1 (CJ1):
She’d be the one assigned to deal with the kids. She’d be nicer than OJ, and would never take out her bad days on them. She’d be the mom who bakes cookies, plays lego, and isn’t too busy to go on every field trip imaginable.

CJ2:
She’d be the one who would deal with all the difficult stuff. The things OJ dreads doing. Like the vet appt for Wiley, who has a large (and growing) lump on his side. She would be able to decide if Goldie needs to be put down, something that OJ is really struggling with.

CJ3:
She’d be the one who ADORES housework and is a natural DIY’er. She’d re-roof the house, fix the foundation, drywall and finish J’s room, and be happy about it.

CJ4:
She’d be the one who gets to go to work every day. She would work 12 hour days without tiring, shun lunch breaks, and leave all the fun work stuff for OJ to enjoy.

CJ5:
A spare. Because damn, if one of the first four CJs stopped working, OJ would need a backup.

October – now with bullets!

• It has snowed THREE times this month, including today. Driving was an absolute joy this morning.
• Having one’s birthday fall on Thanksgiving is much less fun when one is an adult. As a child, it mean TG dinner/birthday dinner/birthday party in one weekend and one year it resulted in somethink like 4 cakes. Now? Not so much.
• Of course J is sick today. I have the day off.
• I really do feel better when the house is clean. Actually, it’s the garage that helps most – I can feel myself tensing up when I walk through it and it’s horribly cluttered.
• My birthday present to myself this year? Not doing a DAMN thing all day long. Including getting dressed, cleaning or cooking. Woo!
• We finally uninstalled the AC unit yesterday.  It’s been -10C for days now….I think it was time.
• There had better be no snow on H’ween.  That would suck.
• A told Lou/Kevin off at karate.  I am SO PROUD.  He didn’t even swear at him, something I would have been totally fine with.  (yes, am bad mom)
• Lou/Kevin then informed me at the next karate night (A was absent) that it’s “just a phase” and maybe “we’ll be friends in time.”  Wow, kid, way to parrot your crazy-ass mother.
• J is whistling away in my room.  Methinks he’s recovering from his fever nicely.

Later.

This is not happening.

Lou is back.

Ok, his name isn’t Lou. It’s Kevin. And he’s BAAAAAAAAACKKKKKKK.

I’ve posted about this awful child before. I haven’t seen him in over two years, and I have had the same exact reaction to him as before. Run. Away.

I rejoiced when Austin decided they shouldn’t be friends. I was over the moon when he moved away.

And now Kevin is back.

He’s in Austin’s karate class two nights a week. Thankfully, he’s at a different school this time around. But still. I may not survive.

Last night was pretty much a rerun of EVERY other Lou/Kevin incident I can recall:

L/K: Hi, Austin’s mom!
Me: Uh. Hi.
L/K: (to A) How’s my long-lost buddy?!
A: Uh. I have to…uh…go…do something else.
L/K: Austin’s Mom, I really want to have a sleepover, but I can’t remember your guys’ phone number.
Me: Mmmmm….
L/K: I thought Jack was Austin before. They look exactly alike, don’t they?
Me: Um, no. They don’t. Gotta go.

I told Austin to deal with him however he saw fit. Austin’s friend was with us, and wouldn’t utter a work to Lou/Kevin…..he remembers him, too.

Austin tells me he told L/K they’re not friends, and to please leave him alone. Something tells me that won’t be the end of it. Sigh.