Merry Christmas, and all that sappy stuff.

We’ll be listening to the classics tomorrow night:

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Merry Christmas to us?

Ah, home ownership. It does make one’s heart warm with joy.

Our hot water tank pilot light has been going out fairly regularly of late. It’s natural gas, so D just relights it and we have hot water again. The last time, we noticed some water on the floor. *cue scary Jaws-type music* *cue me freaking the fuck out* (quietly)

I know exactly how much damage water can do. It’s worse than fire in many cases.

So, in true Procrastinator fashion, I made a note to call a heating/plumbing company. That was last week. I finally called on Monday, and between talking to two places (both of which I deal with regularly, and neither of which will bullshit me) (I think), figured out that it’s time for a new tank. The small amount of water probably means a leak inside, and when it drips/leaks, it puts the pilot light out. This leak will not magically heal itself, and is guaranteed to get worse. I don’t know about you, but I prefer my basement dry, and my carpet non-mouldy.

I called again yesterday to make the appointment, thinking it would be next week sometime. I was also assuming I’d have to live in constant fear of the tank’s imminent demise, which would be sure to occur on Christmas Day, thus guaranteeing the labour costs would at least double.

I was wrong. Hot water tank dude (that’s his name, I swear) will be here in an hour. Buh-buy, old tank. Hello, big expense at Christmas! Actually, it’s more like Hello, peace of mind in a brand-new, 40 gallon tank that we won’t have to worry about for years.

Funny how that truly is a nice gift.

Retro Christmas

Itunes is a wonderful thing. Two mornings ago, after realizing that yes, 5 am was that day’s wake up time, I purchased the entire “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” album by Ray Conniff & his Singers. Seriously, this thing came out in 1962 (and went gold, if Wikipedia is to be believed), and it’s like mainlining my childhood.

The minute the music starts, so do the memories. Picking out the record, placing the needle just so. Being allowed to use my grandparents’ record player. Singing along.

Now I can play it in my van, torture my kids with my lovely voice, and relive my youth. I love it!!

In the interest of full disclosure, I also purchased the following songs during the same early-morning Ipod session (which was funded by a $25 gift card):

Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked – Cage the Elephant
All the Right Moves – OneRepublic
Hey, Soul Sister – Train
I’m Yours – Jason Mraz
I Dreamed A Dream – Susan Boyle
If you Only Knew – Shinedown
Just Say Yes – Snow Patrol
The Man with the Bag – Kay Starr
Jingle Bell Rock – Bobby Helms
New Fang – Them Crooked Vultures
Possibility – Lykke Li
Right Round – Flo Rida
Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer – Gene Autry
Sleigh Ride – Ella Fitzgerald
Turn it Up – Stereos

I think at least some of it can be blamed on the early hour. But what the hell, it’s all fun stuff!

Nattering chatter….

In the past 3 days, all of which I’ve had off, I’ve managed to sleep in until the late, great hour of 6 am. Once. This, naturally, is that Murphy’s Law assclown at his best. I return to work tomorrow, which means my alarm will blare for a minimum of 30 minutes while I pointedly ignore it’s dulcet shrieks. Then the cats will realize that alarm = food! and will spend several minutes torturing me. Gizmo’s favourite ploy is to jump on the dresser and make like he’s going to jump on the bookcase, which annoys me to no end.

I just made my list of things to do today, and it’s grown. SO annoying. I need to go to my office and wrap more gifts – the ones I just discovered yesterday. I also need to roll some coin, seeing as my neighbour’s kid paid me the $30 he wanted transferred on Paypal in quarters, dimes and nickes. A little raiding of D’s coin stashes, and voila! $40 in coin. I also need a new bulb for our desk lamp. It died a quiet death over the weekend, and I can’t handle not having it. Then there’s the dreaded grocery store. GAHHHH. I must get there early, in hopes that 8 am 2 days before Christmas Eve won’t be horribly busy. I’ll probably get screwed on that one.

There should also be a new DVD player at Sears for us. The one we have in the bedroom now is the loudest DVD player I’ve ever heard. It’s enough to keep us awake, and that’s just wrong. D’s theory is that the best movies are the ones he can fall asleep to during the opening credits (he’s an insomniac to some degree). The noise of the DVD means he has to turn up the volume, which in turn causes me to toss & turn. Fun times.

There will be baking. I’m going to have to experiment with my grandma’s bread recipe, because it’s just not rising enough for my liking. Maybe higher elevations need more yeast? And there will be at least 90 butter tarts, maybe 120. Gotta give some away as Christmas presents.

Lastly, the cleaning. I’m so looking forward to it.

It’s all her fault.

My seestor, that is.

She actually had the gall to point out to me that I hadn’t posted in a while. She, whose last post was oh, let’s see….in April of 2008! Back when my kids were only 5 & 9 years old. Back when my husband had only been living out of town for 8 months. Back when my parents lived here. Hell, she was still driving a Kia, working at her old job, and living the single life!

A lot of shit has happened since then, people. Has she thought to share? No. And yet…..she demands posts from me.

I posted a mere 11 days ago. Considering my track record, that’s hardly a blip on this blog. I know, NaBloPoMo just ended, and she got a daily dose of the stuff my brain comes up with. And she’s probably my only reader (she’s related, therefore it’s a requirement. Oh, wait. Karen reads too, under a similarly binding almost-family agreement), although she NEVER comments.

So, sister dear, this post is for you. Consider it my Christmas gift, since I didn’t get to buy for you this year.

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Once again, Christmas is upon us. To this, I say: WHERE THE HELL did 2009 GO?! Surely this is a joke. Didn’t we just get through Christmas 2008? Around here, that was the Wii Christmas. The theme is continuing this year, just on a different scale….sorry, no details, since I have no clue if my kids are smart enough to have found mommy’s blog. I suspect they could, if they had a clue that the internet provided more than Webkins, Club Penguin, and some gaming site that has horrible and very loud music.

Their “really big” gift this year is an outdoor toy of the jumping variety. I’m taking bets on whether or not they’ll ask us to set it up immediately – snow be damned. The answer: NO. Instead, we will direct them to please commence staring at the large box that will take up residence in our garage. Do not ask about set up until every flake of snow is gone from the yard….which will be sometime in May. Perhaps we’ll consider April, if a suitable place in the backyard can be found.

Muahahahaha. I do love to torture the little shits.

Also? How do you wrap a large outdoor toy of the jumping variety? It’s currently in the back of my dad’s truck, 450km away. He’s bringing it at Christmas, and my “plan” (if we can call it that) is to have them climb into the truck & try to figure it out. My seestor says I need a big bow. If so, she’s in charge of the bow!

I have to say, getting the outlaws’ gifts bought, wrapped and shipped by Dec 11 is quite lovely. Much more enjoyable than, say, spending four (five?) times as much for shipping because you’re a procrastinating lazy-ass who can’t be bothered to get fucking organized. Not that I’ve EVER done that. Nope, not me. (seriously…I really hope my SIL burned the evidence of the shipping costs I paid in 2008….so embarrassing.)

And now, with a mere 4 days to go (3, really), I’m basically done. Tomorrow is baking – butter tarts, sugar cookies, and Grandma’s bread. I need to hit the grocery store*, hopefully for the last time before Christmas Eve. (*also known as the 6th Gate of Hell at this time of year, and therefore to be avoided at all costs) Today, I should be cleaning, finding my husband’s winter boots, and figuring out the shopping list.

Instead, I’m blogging to save my seestor’s sanity at work. Tell L that the cat hair is YOUR fault. I didn’t have time to vacuum it!

Better than a Hippopotamus.

Most years, my husband doesn’t really ask what I want for Christmas. And yet, he usually manages to get me *just* the right gift. Sometimes it’s something I really wanted and just didn’t realize it. Other times it’s something a little different – the safe for our “valuables” (ha) comes to mind.

Two nights ago, I asked him if he needed ideas for me this year. He said he was racking his brain to figure out what to get me, so I told him there’s this purse I’m coveting on Ebay. Possibly, eventually, I might have talked myself into it (see this post). Maybe. It’s $200….gah.

Anyhoo, he agreed that I should get it….from him, for Christmas. I’m choosing to conveniently ignore the fact that I did the ordering (someone doesn’t have a Paypal account) and that I know what I’m getting. The only slightly crappy thing about this situation is that it almost definitely will NOT be here by December 25th. I’m guessing January sometime….sigh.

In the meantime, this photo will have to do….

Hey look, it’s still December.

And I remembered to post. Whee.

It was -25C here last night. We hit a high of -18C today. My 11 year old? Asks to wear his new shoes (runners) every day. Um, how about NO. It’s cold & snowy. That means boots, and a winter coat (the horror!). Yes, even if they’re uncool. I’m SO MEAN, making my children dress warmly in the deep freeze of a Canadian winter. Somebody report me.

Every morning, we see the same teenage boy walking to school in town. He’s usually in a t-shirt, hoodie (unzipped, natch), shorts, socks & runners. Every morning, I point him out to my kids, telling them they will NEVER be allowed to dress like that when it’s below zero. Not while I’m still breathing.

Of course, this declaration will likely bite me in the ass someday. I’ll be worried about something important – failing grades, drug use – and will have to choose my battles wisely. And I’m fully aware that my kids will try to put one over on me. Like I won’t know they’re stripping off whatever layers I’ve demanded lovingly insisted they wear in the cold.

The posting continues…

…although I’m not sure anyone is reading. Oh well, I enjoy talking to myself.

Today started off with a dentist appt….FUN. Of the sarcastic, not-so-much variety.

I followed that with Random Employee Appreciation….ACTUAL fun! They all loved their 2010 gear – hoodies, mittens (the elusive red ones), and toques. I even got HUGS.

Then I made them put up and decorate the Xmas tree. Gotta keep them guessing with the good-boss, bad-boss thing, right?

D is on the couch, trying to explain to “my” cat (Gizmo) that there’s no licking allowed. Gizmo is a cat. Licking is like breathing. Good luck with that one, honey.

Austin totally tried to slide one by us this week. He got caught throwing snowballs – a school no-no – and received detention. We’ll call this Mistake #1. Then, he thought he’d just forget to tell us. Oh, lookie….Mistake #2. I knew about it by 5 pm yesterday, courtesy of a friend of his who happened to be in my office with her dad. BUSTED.

Still here.

December 1st. And I’m still posting.

My dad was kind enough to pick up the BIG gift for the boys this year. It’ll be unwrapped and in his truck until Xmas day. Whee!

It’s gotten cold here in the past day or so. -13C this morning, a morning upon which my 11 yr old decided to declare “It’s NOT winter! I don’t waaaaaant to wear a coat!” I gave him the what-for, and he, wisely, opted for the winter jacket. I’m beginning to believe the onset of puberty comes with a decline in brain-cell usage.

My “random employee appreciation” gifts are ready to go. Well, mostly. There’s one piece missing, but I am FAR too impatient to wait two more weeks (!!) for the items, and they’ll have to be delivered separately. No matter. I can’t WAIT to see their faces tomorrow!

It’s interesting to see how different D & I are about talking to the kids. Whereas I’m prone to yelling at them (usually briefly) to make my point, he tends to belabour his point(s) until the boys glaze over and stop listening entirely. Perhaps somewhere in between those extremes is something that works? Will have to see…