Off like a nun’s habit.

Business trip #1 of 2008.  Gone until mid-week.  D home only to have me leave.

Such is my new life.

Later!

Lurk? Who, me?

Turns out Oct 3rd was National De-Lurking Day. And I missed it. Maybe it would have motivated me to comment on one of the many blogs I frequent. Alas, I was sans internet, in the wilds of Southern Alberta.

I was learning, people. About how to manage my staff. And about how to spy run reports to see what they’re doing (and perhaps, what they’re not). I thoroughly enjoyed the 2-day workshop. I did not enjoy the travel required to get there and to return home.

Scare Canada? You people can suck my ass. You clawed back minor points for actually managing to get my luggage to the right destinations. I do, however, have some problems with how much stress you added to my life in getting me there. I especially enjoyed the highlights:

• Landing in Vancouver 20 minutes after our Calgary flight had left.
• The “customer service” rep who was helpful, while also managing to be completely negative about our chances of making the next flight on standby. (we did)
• Sitting at the gate in Calgary for 45 minutes. For no fucking reason. Sorry, Mr. Pilot, that wussy explanation about the ground crew/luggage/closing of doors? Didn’t wash.
• Running like a madwoman from the end of one gate to the end of another, just to catch my flight home.

My lowest moment came while sitting in row 27 (of 29), at that goddamn gate in Calgary.  I was sandwiched between a guy whose family was across the aisle, and some woman who annoyed me just by having the window seat.  And all I wanted to do was cry.  I played by the airline’s rules, and thought that it was only fair that we leave on time, so I could GO HOME.  To my kids.  To my life.  I hate that I almost cried.

I am so freaking glad to be home.  Except I’m not.  The boys & I are visiting D tonight - one of of his last in this damn hotel.  Woo!

Where to begin?

I’m going to attempt to get back into blogging.  Might work, might not.  So many things going on.

Travel thoughts:

1.  To the woman at security who took my damn toothpaste:  fuck off.  I know the tube says 130ml, which is over the 100ml limit, but come on.  It had been used.  And if I hadn’t left the gate area to go get some lunch - because the food options beyond security at Vancouver Airport suck rather harshly - you would have never even seen my damn toothpaste.  Your compadres in Calgary had no issue with it.  Oh, one more thing.  When the guy behind me makes a funny comment about the dangers of toothpaste, and I giggle in agreement?  That is not your opening to start lecturing me on the scary people in the world.  I know they exist, and I don’t need a fucking lecture.

2.  Thank you, Scare Canada, for ensuring my luggage took the same trip I did.  Perhaps I will have more faith when I fly next month.

3.  Travel is really goddamn tiring.

4.  I’m picking the Dodge Challenger as a rental car next time.  I liked the Magnum just fine, but wow, does it suck for cargo space.  I must be spoiled, having all that minivan space.  Three women shopping was almost a disaster in that car.

5.  The highlight of the trip was not having a few drinks and chatting with total strangers that work for the same company, it was this:  watching a guy win $10,000 by hitting a hole-in-one on the exact hole I was spotting.  Talk about exciting!!

Something resembling normal.

Gawd. I swear, I need a vacation to recover from my damn vacation. It’s the heat - Ontariario in July/August? A tidge on the warm side. 33C (give or take) with something like 900% humidity. Fun times.

A brief rundown:

Sunwing Airlines rocks. Two words: Full. Meal. A meal! On an airplane! I thought I’d faint. Actually, they begin with a hot towel service, followed by real food (with complimentary wine), finishing with a drink/snack service. The only bizarre thing was the timing on the flight east. We left Vancouver at 11:05 pm. Dinner was served at midnight (or 3 am in the time zone we were heading for).

Jack is like the rechargeable energizer bunny. On crack. He was awake until we got on the plane, at which time he commenced his nonstop chatter (D sat with the boys, I was with 2 strangers across the aisle). About 45 minutes in, the chatter stopped. I looked over, and he was out cold. Two speeds for that kid: full throttle and sleep.

Austin is a die-hard in the “I don’t want to miss a DAMN thing” department. He was awake all day, and slept the least of the four of us on the plane (1 hour). He stayed awake all day after landing in Toronto, which included a 2+ hour drive to London. And, while each of us - my father in law, D, Jack & me - succumbed to naps, he remained awake. He did, however, pass out at 8:30 pm on Tuesday night, and did not get up until 10:30 the following morning.

I cannot believe it’s been TWO years since we last saw the outlaws. That’s just awful. I like my outlaws, and the kids need to know their “other” grandparents. I have resolved to never let such a long time elapse between visits. They’re already talking about us coming back next summer - D is protesting, but it’ll probably happen.

One of the best things was having our very own 27′ trailer this year. With AIR. Woo! We had the site next to the outlaws’ trailer, and having our own space meant nobody was tripping over each other and trying to avoid the piles of crap we just had to bring along. (what was I thinking, taking more than 1 pair of jeans? I lived in my bathing suit & shorts. duh.)

My sister in law’s wedding was wonderful - beautiful bride, perfect venue, rocking reception. Seeing D’s relatives in action really does explain so many things about him. Not the least of which is that he’s turning into his father. I was cast in the role of DD yet again, which was actually enjoyable. I took the kids and D back to the trailer at 1 am, and returned to the hall to pick up my outlaws at 2 am. They’re damn funny when they’re drunk.

I didn’t drink as much as I’d planned to, at the wedding or otherwise. I did, however, have about 5 times the vacation sex I expected. Lesson learned: trailers move a lot. And? My kids can sleep through pretty much anything.

Timing is everything.

Austin waited until last night to be hit with the stomach bug that Jack had last week. Yes, the night before we leave on vacation, and the kid was up half the night. I promised him he’d be better this morning, and he is. It’s too bad they won’t be eating KD for a while. That shit is nasty enough, without having to see it on a return visit. Gag.

The housesitter is all arranged, so the animals will have a minimum of disturbance to their lives, and I will have peace of mind. As a bonus, we don’t have any rotten foster dogs around to steal my pillows and re-work them into fake snow in the backyard. That truly was the highlight of our return from Ontariario 2 years ago. Really.

In other news, I’m mostly packed. Just have to review the contents of all 4 suitcases and decide whether we need a shoes-only suitcase (I suspect we might - lucky we can each take 2 checked pieces). I also need to run the d/w, pack the last-minute crap, and wait for D to get off work. The travel plan includes gravol for the children (so they might sleep), a stop at my parents’, and McChuck & Chunder at some point. Maybe. Totally dependent upon the stomach situation.

Elevating procrastination to high art.

I should be packing. Ask me if I am. Um, no.

Instead, I’m:

• getting increasingly annoyed by the whining my younger child does
• finishing yet another load of laundry
• playing movie trivia games on Crackbook
• laughing my ass off at the girls’ weekend photos T took
• avoiding packing

I’m a planner, but I have a streak of “I work better under pressure” in the mix. Next up is the list of shit to take to Ontariario, and then the actual packing. Sometime today. Yes, definitely today. Tomorrow will be too much pressure. I’d rather be re-checking it all tomorrow.

I picked up the last copy of the 7th (final? *sob*) HP book yesterday. Yes, our grocery store was out of them at 9:15 am, courtesy of yours truly. Woo.

Hm. What next? Lunch.

Don’t knock the minivan.

Departure from home: 6 pm
Number of pee breaks (with two children, I might add): 1
Arrival at the ‘rents: 10:20 pm.
Average speed: 115 km/hr (give or take….I think I probably hit 130 a couple of times….)

I think that’s a new record for me, at least with the kids in tow. Woo! The wonders of gravol. Muahahahahaha!

We did see one nasty accident. Poor Toyota sedan was on it’s roof. Ack. Hope nobody was hurt too badly.

Where to begin?

I know I’ll miss something, but here’s a roundup of all the things I saw/learned/planned to blog about this past weekend:

• The dormitories at UBC? Tiny. Not bad, if you’re looking to imitate a sardine. And they’re clean.
• Communal bathrooms. Um. Er. Ok, then.
• Ditto the communal lounge.
• Although it was nice to study there. I actually made use of my quiet-slash-free time and studied. Go me!
• Having an “in” with the parking guys is great. Pay parking? Whatevah.
• Rain. OMG. I forgot the rain in Vancouver.
• Drowned Rat is not my best look.
• I must remember to take more books to read next time. This only lasted the first night.
• 5 am is the nicest time of day to use the afore-mentioned communal bathroom. Ah, silence!
• No TV is kind of nice, too.
• Seminars can be interesting. Especially when they’re about Wildlife Rehab and other cool stuff.
• By dinnertime, I was way past being done with all the togetherness. Thank goodness for my sister, who rescued me! She also let me drive. Can you believe she’d never even been to UBC before? The rain had stopped overnight, so we went & sat on the beach for a while. Bombing around the campus in her little car was hilarious. I should have had a big “tourist” sign on the car, though. Ack.
• The actual AGM on Saturday morning was great. Very positive message, blah blah.
• A warning: there are going to be some very heart-wrenching commercials on BC television in July. Avert your eyes if you tend to cry at cases of animal cruelty.
• Everyone in that meeting was crying. I swear. Just goes to show we’re all a bunch of animal-loving softies!
• The awards luncheon? More freaking tears. The Animal Bravery award (given to Oliver the dog for his spirit & determination to live after suffering a crushed pelvis *sob sob* and going through water rehabilitation. He attended, and he’s a cutie pie.) There were a couple of memorial awards for fundraising (9 yr old BC boy who has raised $11000 in the last 4 months alone) and selfless heroism in rescuing an animal in distress (14 members of a fire dept near where I live - they pulled a dog out of a lake last November, even though they don’t officially respond to that type of call). All in all, a tear-jerker of a day. But in a good way.
• At the risk of sounding all sappy, this weekend really did remind me why I do anything for the SPCA. It’s all about the animals. Now if I can only maintain that gung-ho firedupedness. Woo!

Something I learned this weekend (lots more, but my brain is tired…): the Exxon Valdez was considered a “disaster” for birds: 500,000 birds killed. To put that in perspective, however, it’s estimated that 72 million birds die as a result of pesticide use each year in the US, and approximately 1000 million (that’s a billion, no?) birds die as a result of skyscrapers, overhead wiring, and other man-made hazards to the bird world. The mind boggles!! (stats courtesy of the professor who talked about the UBC Animal Welfare program)

Better weather.

Not at home, at least not that I know about. I’m not there! The kids & I had a great drive down yesterday. The weather at home had cleared, but the snowstorm was lurking south of us, and we ended up driving through it for 40 minutes. Saw one accident and many slow drivers. Fun times!

I made my sister come out to see us, and we laughed ourselves sore until 10 last night (me, sis, & our mom). My dad got in on the fun when he called to talk to us - he’s at his brother’s until tomorrow. Drunken father on the phone is always amusing!

He called again this morning, but only to talk to the kids. I think he’s already itching to come back so he can see them. I think it’s cute.

Today’s agenda includes a bit of shopping, time with a very pregnant friend (and her new husband!), and then the boys & I will be heading to D’s aunt’s house. Thankfully, there should be a bunch of cousins around, and the kids will be fully occupied. Woo!

Shopping includes the epic quest of Finding a New Purse. I have turned into a PPP (picky purse person) recently, and it’s bloody hard to find something that works for me. I like my current one, but want it a wee smidge bigger. Gah. Wish me luck!

Today, I…..

…laughed so hard about such stupid things with my sister. From the moment we left and had the “San-Fran-car-flying-down-a-big-hill-like-in-the-movies” laugh to the mockery of the damn red shirt I tried on in the last store we hit (it was sooo bad), we laughed ourselves silly.

…enjoyed being apart from my children immensely. Is it indicative of my crappiness in the mothering department? I am loving this time for me. I’ve only called home once. Home, however, has called me a couple of times.

…spent a shitload of money on myself. And I have the nicest stuff to show for it! (list below, for anyone who can withstand my blatant consumerism….)

…had to talk a bride down from the edge while trying on clothes in a store. I am aghast at the treatment of the PREGNANT person/BRIDE to be. People need to wake the fuck up and stop making it all about THEM. ARGHHHHH. As of tomorrow, I am taking names and kicking asses. Nobody treats Karen this way. No. Body.

…enjoyed a lovely dinner with my sister and parents. I cannot recall the last time it was just our little four-person family unit, without add-ons or appendages.

…highlighted my sister’s hair. It is now a knotted mess, and I’m not sure she’ll forgive me, but hey! It’s all good.

…realized I will forever be stuck in between the sister/mother dynamic that my family maintains. And that? Is super-fun!

…held myself to a couple of bunny-holiday items for each of my kids. I have more to get, but the big E is a couple of weeks away. Even my little podunk town has chocolate eggs and whatnot.

The list:

lime green jacket, mid-thigh length, button down, sort of a trench coat
dark blue (w/green stripe) comfy pants (yoga-ish)
two shirts
two pairs of jeans
wedding gift
shower gift
frying pan
nonstick wok
earrings (4 pairs)
b-day gift (a shirt) for my sister
dollar store stuff

Whee!