The one in which I try to catch the hell up.

“Catching up” is a recurring theme in my life at the moment. I am running behind in many things, it seems. If only I could clone myself…

Some updates:

Soccer - Austin agreed to return, after I spoke with his coach and asked him to please deal with the harassment. Coach has done so, bratty child has apologized, and all is well.

The Cast - still on. And DAMN, is that the best $40 I’ve ever spent! Austin has bathed, showered, swam, and slip ‘n slided with that thing. It’s still going. Tried to get it removed today, but the hospital was swamped. Monday, for sure.

The Cats - fitting in very well. They’re still not sure of the dogs, who tend to ignore them completely. Dante hasn’t wandered, and seems fearful when outside. Alex has had a mat-ectomy, courtesy of me. Honestly, his back end was just GROSS. Huge mats. You’d think I never brush him. Mouse is the best of the 3, so laid back.

In other news, we’re leaving for two weeks in fewer days than I can fathom. Between now & then, I have to accomplish the following:

- finish off the current work on my desk
- try to get through and/or reassign the work for the next 2 weeks
- attempt to keep my head from exploding
- ship my kids to a friend’s next weekend, during which time I will be having a blast with my girlfriends
- pack for the kids’ weekend away, the weekend with friends, AND the trip to Ontario BEFORE the weekend with the girls.
- hope against hope that my head won’t explode from the planning. And the lists. And the thinking.
- try valiantly to not treat our drive to Vancouver (to catch our flight) as a race, and enjoy it (ie. stop at those touristy places I never stop at)

Wish me sanity. And luck.

I’m lucky - I can’t remember the song.

The missing cat?  He came back!!  I told some friends about this, and a few of them now have that silly “The Cat Came Back” song in their heads.  I can only recall the first 2 lines, so it’s not that annoying.

Dante (aka Stinkybutt) sauntered in yesterday morning, acting like his absence the last 10 days was normal.  Nothing to worry about.  Been there, done that.

Little shit, making me worry!

He does look a little more scraggly than usual, but quite happy to be home.  He hasn’t gone far, especially outside.  I’m not sure what happened to him, but he’s being quite cautious at the moment.  Fine by me.  I hate losing cats.

In other news, I am, once again, insanely busy.  In addition to the usual karate/soccer/karate/soccer/karate/soccer schedule, we did a fundraiser at work yesterday, I had a soccer meeting last night, there’s a bunch of overdue SPCA stuff for me to do, soccer photos all day Saturday, a class trip with Austin next week, a trip 4 hours south for a meeting on the 23rd, and getting organized for our 2-week vacation in July in there somewhere.

OY.

Oooh, shiny.

Our new front-loading washer & dryer arrived this weekend.  Me likey.  Me likey LOTS.

Now to get my hydro rebate!

Oh, and it turns out I can read directions and assemble a bbq correctly.  Nothing blew up when I used it last night, and my steaks were yummy.

Here’s to summer!  (if it would ever care to arrive, that is….)

This is getting old.

It has snowed here almost every day this week. Hell, for the month of April. Today, May 1st, we woke up to yet another dump of the white shit. I’m having my winter tires taken off today - I’m illegal as of last night. Funny, I suppose our government assumed the fucking snow would typically be GONE by May 1st. Silly of them.

There is one small upside: soccer has been delayed a week. This helps me immensely, considering I just confirmed all my coaches two days ago, the t-shirts aren’t in, the jerseys will be late, and none of the teams in either of my two divisions have their actual equipment. I’m not the only one doing the last-minute scramble, which has alleviated my guilt.

Other things I think about posting, but cannot find the time:

- I participated in a soccer coaching clinic on Saturday evening. What a workout!
- Soccer clinic + burning trees for 4 hours on Sunday = one sore ass & two sore legs.
- My computer. It’s screwed. I need to get it to a repair shop soon, or I’m going to drop-kick the damn thing.
- Computer again. I managed to delete all the accessories AND games on the weekend, in a vain attempt to remove Internet Exploder, which I blame for 92.4% of computer problems. I do NOT use the program, but it’s there, and it’s fucking with my karma.
- I am having an internal debate about my oldest cat and the fat dog. Cookie (cat) is almost totally blind, losing weight slowly, generally cranky, and prone to living under my bed for days at a time. Methinks this is not a great quality of life. Goldie (dog) is old, probably arthritic, and tends to go through bouts of using my living room as her personal bathroom. During those times, I am certain she needs to go. Then I give her an anti-diarrheal med, things improve, and I like her again. GAH.

Ok. Brain hurts. Thank god April is over.

Snow, inappropriate words, and the longest bus ride ever.

Last I checked, the calendar said April. I’m right, aren’t I? Unfortunately, Mother Nature seems to be on vacation - somewhere warm, I’m sure - and Old Man Winter has been able to hang around like a nasty cold. I’m REALLY tired of winter. Especially the SNOW. Oy.

Our trip to Calgary last weekend was great, aside from all the sitting my ass got to do. 11 hours to Calgary, sitting on the bus. 9 hours at the competition, sitting on a crappy chair. Another 11 hours home on the bus, sitting once again. My ass went numb in ways I never knew were possible. I’m convinced it’s a little flatter than before - luckily it’s fat enough that it’ll come back.

Austin did well in the competition (no medals), and wants to go again. I even managed to watch him in kumite (contact sparring!), which he enjoys.

I’ve been sleeping a lot this week. 8:30 is the new 11 pm, at least for me. Must be the WEATHER, my new scapegoat for all things annoying.

I just have to share a Jack funny from the other morning. He was looking for one of the cats, and decided that calling out, “Here, pussy! Come on, pussy!” was just the thing to get her attention. I was slightly amused, up until the following came out of his mouth:

“I like pussy. Here, pussy!”

I dare you not to laugh.

Random brain farts.

Driving 700 km in two days takes a lot out of a person.

I’m surprised that the howling wind outside my hotel room didn’t keep me up.

Room service?  ROCKS.

Room service?  Holy overcharging, Batman.

That bastard Murphy was all up in my shit today:  son #1 woke up barfing (while I was 300+ km away), which meant I had to have my mom stay home with him, which put my office at 50% of normal staffing.  Of course, this also meant that the remaining staff got pounded with business today.  Oy.

I can’t believe nobody noticed how sticky the puked-on bathroom floor was.  Ewwww.  Austin did a fine job of cleaning up, he’s just got to learn to do the whole job.

Why the fuck do I have zits at 34?  Fuck off, already.

Memory lane.

Spring Cleaning, part deux.  That’s what today was.  I did some laundry, cleaned the basement, moved the two file boxes full of old paperwork upstairs, and decided what baby stuff to send to my about-to-pop sister in law.  I’ve moved along most of the baby crap - like 98% - so it’s slim pickings.  She is, however, getting some great blankets and some cute books.  The rest of the books are going to Special K’s son, Mr. B.  (hear that, Kaz?  Yer getting more stuff!!  Mwahahahaha)

The file boxes were amusing.  Every one of my tax returns, back to 1991.  Wow.  Hello, Mr. Shredder!  Bank statements for accounts that haven’t existed since I still signed my maiden name.  Paperwork pertaining to the labour claim D had with a former employer…….in 1996.  Pay stubs.  Credit card receipts (for cards that no longer exist).  Have I mentioned that I love to get rid of clutter, and could be considered an Organizational Whore, except for that whole bothersome Kitten Whore nickname?

I’ve unearthed photos from the 90s - graduation, weddings (mine included), animals that are no longer with us.  Especially sweet were the ones of the first puppy D & I had together:  Marley.  He was so fucking cute.  A little 5-pound ball of nothing when we got him, he grew into a large Akita-cross.  I still kick myself for not ensuring he was unable to wander.  Maybe he’d still be with us.  And the cats!  Ratty’s little sister is in there - she died on our front lawn in 2003, literally scared to death by some kind of wild animal - she was a funny little thing.  I can see why I just had to have Gizmo…..he really does resemble Lael….and here I thought D was nuts.

Photos of Austin as a baby.  Again with the cuteness!  Not that he’s lost it, it’s just changed.  A LOT.

After the fun of sorting paperwork, I braved the cold (but sunny!) weather and picked up the winter’s dog crap.  Oy.  I had gloves on for warmth, with plastic gloves overtop of those.  I think I’ll triple-glove with plastic next time.  Ick.

Had a quiet afternoon, baked some cookies a little while ago (from a bucket, people, I am so not domestic these days), and am awaiting the influx of kids that is sure to occur any minute.  The neighbours’ boys are here this weekend, and I haven’t seen much of my two.  Since they’re having company next door, I offered to let their two sleep here tonight.  Oh, and we have an extra dog.  D2 & her husband are off to some rodeo thing, so I have their boxer.  She’s a sweetheart, but she’s an only dog.  This means she’s not up on her cat-iquette, so to speak.  Our dogs like the cats and/or ignore them.  Bailey?  She’s a little more interested in the cats.  Sniff, sniff, whine, whine….I have her on a leash next to me, just to be safe.

I think I’m asleep, so don’t quote me.

So. Tired.

Days = long, stressful, work-filled.

April is shaping up to be relatively crazy.  Not FUN crazy, either.  Just plain crazy-crazy, which annoys me.

Told my boss today that the paper on my desk is trying to choke me.  He laughed and said welcome to the club.  Nice guy.

Decided my former boss has to be renamed.  Once the Moody Bitch of our office (we all have bitch names, and mine’s Picky, thankyouverydamnmuch), she is now going to be the Snoopy Bitch.  Seriously.  I left my office (MINE!  do I sound like a 2 yr old yet?) quite early on Monday* so I could see my husband and have time to do some shopping in the Big Northern City.  She called my office for no reason, which translates to Checking Up On Me.  Cut the apron strings, woman.  You’re not my damn boss anymore.  And stop looking at my calendar just to make comments about it.  I can cut off your fucking access any goddamn time I like!

*Easter Monday, no less.  Can you imagine how dead our office was?  80% of our clients thought we were closed, and the other 20% spent the day calling us to see if we were open.  Grr.

Kids are asleep in my bed.  Mmm…built-in heaters for my cold toes.  Have a headache.  Listening to National Geographic channel - some show about scientists studying woolly mammoths.  Interesting, but am only half-listening.

Later.

PS  Candy, I am TOTALLY going to make something up….someday.

PSS   I actually had to call 911 at work today.  Two idiots (men, of course) were beating the shit out of each other across the street from our office.  Older dude kind of started it, but the younger guy got him on the ground and whaled on him.  Bloody, limping, etc.  His wife put a stop to the fight when she came out of the bank.  We had such a good view that we got both license plates and I gave the RCMP very detailed descriptions.  Impressively, 3 squad cars AND an ambulance arrived within 3 minutes.  Oh, the excitement.

Playing catch-up.

Erm.  Yeah.  Where to begin?

Have already hired a new staff member.  My mom, of all people.  She & my dad are looking to move here, so this ties in well with their plans.  I think it will go well.

Got sucked into doing much more than expected for our soccer auction.  Oy.  Nobody else in the association had any experience, and I suppose I could have warned them about the chaos that would ensue.  I’m a bitch, however, and did no such thing.  Now they all know.  *snicker*  It went very well, with a sell-out crowd, and plenty of Disposable Income types in the room, most willing to part with their money.  I do believe we pulled in over $10k last night, and that goes a long way towards fields.

Voice is coming back veerrrryy sllooooowwllyy.  I’m sure the kids love it, since my yelling capacity is much reduced.  Me?  I fucking hate it.  I squeak on the phone with clients, don’t sound like me, and my MIL once again thought I was Austin when I answered the phone.  Fun stuff.

Have become completely & utterly addicted to Scramble on that dame Crackbook site.  Argh.  Wanna play?

Am working my way diligently through all of Douglas Coupland’s books.  I find myself enjoying his writing very much - he’s quirky and nothing is predictable.  I went to pick up the one book the library called to say was in, and there were FOUR waiting for me.  Oops.  I need to get through “A Thousand Splendid Suns” before anything else, because I’m sure there’s another hold on it after me.  Shouldn’t be a problem.

Speaking of books, that damn Doubleday group sucked me into another subscription renewal.  Five free/super cheap books?  Buy four more in 2 years?  Sure, sign me up!  DUH.   But!  They are sending me the new Ken Follett, and that is enough to make it worth my while.

Spring Break has begun, so I’m facing two weeks of the kids off school.  Should do wonders for my already overdue (read:  horrifying) daycare bill.

This week is meetings, meetings, meetings.  Can’t wait.  Later!

A tidge early, but I’ll take it.

The original animated Grinch is on tonight.  And I totally watched it.  Without my kids.  It’s the best version, although I quite enjoy Jim Carrey’s live-action movie.

My only complaint is the timing.  Couldn’t wait until December had actually started, could you, ABC?  Idiots.  Give it 10 years and Christmas will be rolled out when the kids finish school in June.  Pathetic.

I just decimated part of the leftover birthday ice cream cake.  Mmmm, chocolate.  Now to put it back in the freezer for another PMS-fueled craving.  I give it until tomorrow night.

My office party is this weekend, and I’m looking forward to great food and liver abuse.  Hope the weather holds and D can make it down.  He’s going for a three-fer:  his Xmas party/dinner is tomorrow night, he’s going to his boss’ party the next night, and then coming south for mine.  Par-tay!

Gotta go.  Sleepy.  And Crackbook is calling my name.